endings & beginnings, it takes a village

My life the last two years has been off the charts crazy. I started coaching, earned three different coaching education certifications, started (and now finished) grad school for Kinesiology, finished my third Ironman, moved across the country, fractured (and recovered) my ankle, lived in a hotel for two and a half months, bought and sold a house, and started a new full time job. These are just a few of the highlights. When I list these things out, they seem like a whole lot of crazy. How on Earth did I survive that?

In the last two weeks there has been a lot of wrapping up and starting again, endings and beginnings. I finally wrapped up my Ironman Coaching certification, took my last final and now have my Masters in Kinesiology and I’ve healed my fracture and recovered like a boss to get the okay to start running.

It’s been an emotional last two weeks. A long road I’ve traveled the last two years for that Masters. Sacrifices emotionally, physically and financially. My husband has been my rock, taking over all house duties, playing cheerleader when I just didn’t want to anymore and always feeding me when I didn’t have time to feed myself. My friends and teammates have been nothing short of amazing believing in me and standing by me even when I wasn’t fulfilling my end of the friendship bargain. My coach, friend and business partner who kept me motivated and reminded me of the value of education. My athletes, the reason I want to keep learning and being better have shown nothing but pride and trust in my abilities. Coeur Sports, who never once questioned why I wasn’t able to race as much as I thought stood in my corner and helped me cheer others on, always reminding me why I’m a triathlete. This is my village, my tribe, that got me across that finish line. We don’t accomplish these things on our own, in a bubble. I can’t express my gratitude to each and every one of you for helping to carry me to this finish line.

With all of this, I took a lot of Did Not Starts in racing the last two years. Two Ironmans as well as several other races. This past weekend I was to participate in Ironman CdA. The DNS stings, even knowing it was 100% the right decision (and would make that decision again in a heart beat). It hurts to know I tried to be optimistic, but for me, there just wasn’t enough hours in the day to keep it all together. I think that’s the biggest lesson I learned. Sanity and happiness doesn’t require you to do it all. It requires you to know your limits and to make choices that support the relationships and priorities you value. For me, I chose my relationships, jobs and education over fitness. Does that mean I’m thrilled I’m starting from ground zero with some extra stress weight on my frame? No. I’m not. I don’t feel comfortable in my body and I’m ashamed I let it get this far. That doesn’t mean I won’t attack getting my fitness back and returning to racing with the same determination and dedication.

It’s going to be a long road back, but with my village behind me, I can’t wait to see how this journey turns out.

One Comment on “endings & beginnings, it takes a village

  1. I’m so glad you’ve not only survived the crazy, but are on the mend physically and emotionally!! We are all behind you and on the sidelines cheering you on!! Go get ’em Heidi!! 😉

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