I’m having a tough day. It’s frustrating when you are trying to fight your way to being motivated and excited and at every turn today it feels like I’ve been smacked down. I know in comparison my day is not a bad day, but to me, today my bad day is winning.
I’m lacking motivation. There, I said it. I went ahead and signed up for another 70.3, because you know, I’m a glutton for punishment and it sounded fun. I’m super excited to camp on the race grounds and rough it for a few days (seriously). Not to mention the awesome chance there will be to bond with other triathletes and have a good time. I hopefully even get to see my Aunt, cousin and only surviving grandparent while I’m there. I haven’t seen them in about 8 years and that makes me sad.
That being said I have to jump back on the training wagon pretty quickly since the race is the second weekend in June, I’ve got a lot of work to do. The hills on the course scare me – its a much harder course than 70.3 Texas and I want to actually try to race and push myself on this one.
I finally got back in the pool last night and I felt like I had a weight vest on. I was in a lane with 4 boys who made it clear they had no issue running me over. That didn’t make for a very good feeling. (I even wore my 70.3 Texas swim cap so they’d look at me like the badass I pretend to be, and I feel like I brought it shame) I only made it about 1200 yds before I called it quits. I needed to end the torture.
This morning the alarm clock was set for 5 so I could get up and spin for an hour. With the FC Dallas game tonight I have to miss Negative Split bike & hill training so I wanted to get something in. Which also freaks me out because I’m missing a great opportunity for bike hill work. The alarm went off – you know what my head said? Well,I really don’t want to because I’m tired and because you’d have to put the bike on the trainer, and that’s just too much work. Seriously, that was my logic. I should have known at that point to just give in for the day.
Since then, I was late getting out of the house, out of granola for breakfast, forgot my coffee, forgot my nuun bottle so I would have water to drink during the day, stuck in really bad traffic, almost got hit 6 times in the Starbucks parking lot just trying to get a drip coffee and once I got to my clients (late, mind you) I couldn’t get the software to work for an hour. Combine that with feeling like an epic fail from swimming last night and by inability to get up this morning – I feel beaten down.
I want to be excited about this race but right now I feel so damn overwhelmed that I can’t keep my head up. Honestly. It’s all very much weighing on me right now and I can’t get my head above water. Even on weekends I can’t seem to get on top of things. The last time I vacuumed my house? 3 weeks ago. You know how much animal hair is living in my carpet? Enough to gross me out, but not enough to get my ass up to vacuum it because I’m so damn tired.
So as of right now I’m hoping this phase will pass, because I’m tired of sighing ALL. THE. TIME.
Special thank you to all of my wonderful friends who have made me smile this morning, I love you dearly.
When’s the last time you were in a funk? How did you get out of it?