I’ve been trying really hard in my life to be a more positive person. The last few weeks have been a huge challenge for me. I don’t want to use my blog or twitter to complain or vent. Since I haven’t had anything nice to say, I’ve tried to say nothing at all. I’m figuring things out and moving in the right direction.
After my half marathon a week and a half ago I had some major issues with running, well not running specifically but more my calves. I now understand what people mean when they say their calves are shredded. Normally I take a week or so off and maybe do one run to let my legs rest and recover. Since I’m with a marathon group I didn’t want to let the group or myself down so I wanted to do the workouts that have been laid out all week. I did take a break, but decided towards the end of the week to pick up the scheduled workouts. The Thursday following the run I just had a tough day all around. Work stressed me out, life stressed me out, so I was just really looking forward to a good run where I could clear my head. Apparently my body had other ideas. I was hoping for 3-4 miles after work (it was still around 95 degrees at 7pm so a shorter run was in order.) I had to call my husband for the first time ever to come and pick me up at mile 2. My calves were in such pain I wanted to cry. I’d never felt anything like it. I also felt like an epic failure. I couldn’t even run it out.
I was super worried for my Saturday group run. We were scheduled to run 4 miles and I didn’t know if I could do it. I was desperate Friday to figure out a way to get my calves better. I reached out to twitter and got some great advice. I picked up a pair of compression calf sleeves from CEP and a foam roller. I went home and started rolling. It hurt so good. I wanted to cry and my husband just looked at me like I was crazy – until he used the roller. I wore my compression sleeves all night and ran in them on Saturday for the first time. I made it through at a pretty steady pace. I’m super grateful to Sondra one of the coaches in our group who just ran with me and kept me steady. She was great company the whole time. She kept my mind off of the running and it was great to run with someone. I am beginning to understand the appeal of a running group. I seriously don’t think I could be nearly as successful with the marathon without the support of a group. I’m thankful for them.
I ran Monday for 2 miles with the dog so she could get out. For those who don’t know, she got hurt out on a long run with me about 2 months ago. She had done the distance before, but she just tweaked something on that particular run. Vet said bed rest and she should be back to normal. Well, she’s not. We think it might be hip dysplasia but that’s a genetic thing and for it to only start showing at 3 years old is concerning. I think we’ve kept her really fit and that has kept the issues away. So we’re running with her every day / every other day on short runs to help build her strength back. She’s actually a better runner than walker with her hip. She’s been really depressed lately because she’s been missing her runs and missing longer runs. Just this week is the first she’s shown us of her old self. She’s always been a pretty happy dog, but now she’s playing with her toys and being more playful with us. It makes my heart hurt for her just a little bit less.
I had a good run this morning. I’m trying really hard to stick to the workout schedule of my group. I’m not going to lie, it’s also been really nice not to have to figure out my workout schedule for the week, I just look at my calendar and do what it says. I worked hard on form as well as trying to keep a stead pace. I’m awful about pacing. I usually start at a good pace and end up struggling at the end. I sprinted the last .4 miles with a steady incline and it felt good to be able to push my pace at the end.
Overall I’m finally starting to feel like I’m getting back to me and being in balance. Although nothing’s been resolved, I’m happy with me and the way I’ve handled everything going on. I’m a passionate person with strong opinions and ideas. I’m working on really getting to know who I am and who I want to be. If that doesn’t work for you, friendship isn’t going to work for us. And that’s okay, not everyone has to get along, even if we’re family.